random thoughts of the day
Today was one of those days i wasnt to sure about, but when i opened my blinds a and felt the beam of the warm sun hit my face, i knew everything would be just fine. Im learning to deal with being here, and appreciate all that is in front of me, i am not goin anywhere else without my camera! Today i saw the most beautiful, blue sky, a perfect rainbow, ugh… and the funniest high water sweat pants ive seen in years lol, all picture worthy. Im goin to learn how to go it alone, because i have an eerie feeling that s the way its going to be…
Worrying doesn’t empty tomorrow of it’s troubles, it empties tody of it’s strengths…
Sooo…
like i said in my earlier blog, went to the market today, only for a few things juice n bread… Once i got to the register i realized i didnt want one of my juices, n noticed a cart sitting immediately in front of where the line started. I assumed it was things people didnt want to get that needed to be put back on the shelves in the store so i dumped my juice in, and went to check out. A couple of minutes later, an elderly man comes to the cart and gets in line behind me…My juice was the first thing he put on the conveyour, completely oblivious to the fact that it wasn’t something he’d picked up for himself. I was too embarred to say anything and i highly doubt he would’ve uinderstood me anyway, so i kept quite. It was only a €1.19 nothin major, and i think the juice is on point, wish they made it in the states lol. Was i wrong tho?? Either way im sure he’ll enjoy his juice lls
Hmmm…
Went to the market today, swear thas my favorite place to b in Portugal, aside from the gym and my bed… It makes me think of my grandmom, cause that was our misssion like 3 times a week, i used to think she purposely didnt get things on Sunday so she could call me to go on Tuesday, n on Tuesday she’d be sure to leave a couple more things for our Friday trip lls, I miss her so much it hurts, i know she’d be so proud of me right now, n at 11 o’clock i always think about her because that was her call time, n i was supposed to be awake when she called, no sleeping until 12, “only lazy bums sleep their days away” ugh smh… i miss her, her wisdom, her advice, her stories on everybody, who they were fuckin, what they were shootin up and everything else (she was definitely the noisey old lady on the block) but she loved everybody and everyone loved Ms. Jan… More than anything tho i miss our time together, her home was my esacpe, a place to run when my home felt like it was too much n i needed to get away, her smiling face, always elated to see me coming through the door knowing but never speaking, our trips to Produce Junction, so she could buy flowers to put in everyone else’s front lawns lol. I really dnt want to b in Philly for a number of reasons when i get home, and her not being there is number one. I miss her, and i dnt want to b there this summer without her, i know i have to get over it, everyone has their time, but it wasnt fair, i didn’t know, there was so much i didnt get to say… how much i loved her, how much i admired her strength, her wisdom, her cool lol. I feel more driven now than i ever have in my life, and i know it’s because of her, and its in her memory, i miss her but it won’t b in vain…
[U are 2 me what I’am 2 U] My Eyes are see less, my hands are touch less ,my heart is beat less, my feelings are emotion less, my mind is think less my shoulders are back less,my words are speech less,my dreams are sleep less, my body is motion less, my air is breath less, see you are Me & I am You we r Human Less N Hope Less Apart, But Together We Are 1.
Awww, Chris Brown posted this on his twitter. (@mechanicaldummy)
